Dropping the kids off at daycare, arriving on time for work, picking the kids up from the nanny, preparing dinner, finishing an urgent file… the days of “working mums” and “working dads” are filled, timed, and far from restful.
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Having a child brings its share of questions, including how to manage one’s professional and family life. Choosing one over the other, or balancing both: a complex choice that can lead to conflict within the couple. It is therefore important to ask the right questions, so as not to regret this decision.
Finding a balance between professional and family life
After the birth of your little one, some will want to return to work, as it brings personal satisfaction. You sometimes fear making a choice: sacrificing your family life for your career or vice versa. Giving up one of the two generates a certain frustration among parents. Your personal fulfillment then comes from balancing both. Maman Poule shares her reasons and joy of returning to work after 8 months of leave to care for her child: “I love my son infinitely, but I need to regain a social life. Sometimes […], I feel much more tired after a day with him than after a day at work.”
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For others, it’s an opportunity to take a “break” to enjoy as much time as possible with their children.
Sometimes the choice imposes itself: single moms or dads are obliged to work to financially support their child(ren).
More and more dads want to take their parental leave to become more involved in their role as a father. However, many fear being penalized later in their professional careers. This is a barrier that often pushes them to prioritize their professional life. In France, the reform on parental leave was adopted by the Senate on September 17. Among other things, the second parent (often the father) will be able to take an additional six months of leave.
It is essential to reflect personally on the subject. Identify your expectations, needs, and priorities. Working, dedicating time to your family, or balancing both: the important thing is to find a balance that suits you and your family. On her blog “8 at home,” Cécile shares her experiences regarding the difficulty but also the possibility of balancing professional life with family life: “The most rewarding for me is obviously the state of the children: their humor, appetite, sleep, school results: it’s a good barometer of the balance between professional and family life.”
French women struggle to balance professional and family life
French women are more concerned about their family than their personal fulfillment.
Balancing professional and family life: a major expectation of parents, insufficiently taken into account by companies.
According to a study conducted by UNAF and the Parentality Observatory (April 2013): -93% of working parents believe that the balance between professional and family life is an important concern. -76% of them feel that their company does not do much to help them.In France and abroad: Balancing professional and family life is more anxiety-inducing for women than for men.
According to an American study (August 2013) conducted on 500 families: -Working mothers are concerned for ¼ of their waking time (which is roughly equivalent for men). However, these concerns do not impact men but have negative effects on the well-being of mothers. According to the authors of the study, societal expectations encourage mothers to disproportionately respond to the less pleasant aspects related to family issues. -Furthermore, the study reveals that 25% of working fathers are concerned about their work outside of hours compared to 34% of working mothers. This is explained by the fact that they generally have to adjust their work schedules according to family needs.In 2008, to promote a better balance between professional and family life, an initiative was launched: the Parentality Charter. Currently, more than 400 companies have signed this charter to promote parenthood in the workplace. Their goals are to reduce stress among working parents and decrease absenteeism. To help them balance both, actions have been implemented: eliminating meetings at the end of the day, creating company daycare centers, telecommuting…
The 4 commandments for successfully balancing professional and family life
1. Own your choice: explain to your children that you love your job and that it also contributes to your happiness. They will only be proud of you. It’s not always easy to talk about this with your superiors, but it’s important to let them know your intentions. You have the right to take parental leave and request flexible hours.
2. Get organized: it is essential to define your own work framework. It should contribute to your own balance and well-being: some may want to dedicate themselves to work all week to be free on weekends, while others may prefer shorter days but stay continuously connected to their company.
Organizing with your partner and other parents to drop off and pick up your children from school and sports activities will save you from unexpected situations!
If you have a responsible position, delegating certain tasks to your colleagues is not excessive. It will be easier for you to focus on each task you perform.
3. Spend time with your children: quality is more important than quantity! Meals can be an opportunity to share a family activity.
4. Take time for yourself: to avoid “burnout,” unwind! Occasionally engage in an activity you enjoy: see your friends, go shopping, dine out, go to the movies, do nothing, or do some DIY…
If you are mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, and feel like you are about to crack, it is important to seek support from people you trust!
And you? What choice have you made? How did you approach returning to work? How did you organize yourself to balance both: professional and family life?